Some dads who don't fully understand the doula's role feel skeptical at first and worry that they will be "replaced" in the delivery room. No one can replace the vital role that the partner (who may be the baby's father or another loved one) plays in providing support for the laboring woman. A doula cannot make some of the unique contributions that the partner makes, such as intimate knowledge of the woman and love for her and her child. At the same time, a doula's experience and reassurance of what's normal in birth can be especially comforting for dads, whose knowledge in this area may be (understandably) rather limited, and for moms who may be confused by the intensity of the sensations during labor.

     The doula is there in addition to, not instead of, the partner. By insuring that his needs are met (food, drink, reassurance), and by building his confidence, the doula can actually help the woman and partner to work more closely together. As one father said, "I heaved a big sigh of relief when she (the doula) walked in. I hadn't realized how much pressure I had been feeling. She not only calmed my wife, she calmed me down."

By relieving some of the fear, anxiety, and pressure of expectations, doulas can help dads to be more fully present for the birth of their child. Ideally, the doula and the partner make the perfect support team for the woman, complementing each other's strengths.